Saturday, January 4, 2014

My Labor Story. Part III

The midwife told me to push with the contractions. She said it would be easier. Yeah right time contraction tu lah yg tengah sakit gila nak mampos and I'm supposed to concentrate and push out the baby? However, I found that the midwife was right. My body automatically felt like pushing whenever a contraction came, and with each push I can feel the baby moving further down the birth canal.

So it was too late to get the epidural after all. My labor was too fast and I was too far along to be prepped for an epi. I realized that my mum and the midwives memang pakat nak lambatkan the epi supaya I memang tak boleh dapat epi pun. I had no choice but to keep going, without any pain reliever whatsoever. Just natural, pure childbirth the way nature intended it - plus the bone-breaking pain.

I felt like I was pushing for hours. But it was only like 30-40 minutes, I think. My mum got so excited when she started to see the baby's hair, she said she could see about the size of a 50 cent coin. Baru sikit tu?? Rasa macam nak explode dah bawah tu, kepala baby baru nampak sikit tu?! Faiq wanted to see the baby crowning but I didn't allow him. I demanded that he stayed with me at the head of the bed. I didn't want him to see me all bloody, stretched and gross.

At one point I was just so tired and so in pain that I wanted to give up and make them cut me up or something, but the midwife kept encouraging me.

"You're doing so good sweetheart!" 

"Just a bit more love, you're so strong!"

"You're gonna see your little girl very soon!"

Just when I wanted to give up, I mentally screamed at myself that I have waited far too long and went through far too much pain to stop now, so I grit my teeth and gave it one, last, strong push...

...and then I felt a heavenly release from the pain, like a switch had been pressed from "on" to "off". Just like that, all the pain was gone. I was free, and suddenly they were placing this small, slimy baby on my chest, the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. She had a full head of black hair, which were sticking to her by the blood and vernix. Her eyes were big and alert, her lips red and searching for milk. She opened her mouth and made a sound which were music to my ears... she started to cry.

"Assalamualaikum baby girl... happy birthday." I whispered to her.

Everything else after that was a blur. I had to get stitches because I had a 2nd degree tear (ouch) but I was too busy attempting to breastfeed my baby to pay much attention. She was good at latching on, Mashallah, and was sucking away in no time. But I did realize at the corner of the room, Faiq was conked out exhausted:

And so, Alhamdullillah, with Allah's grace and blessing, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl weighing 3.328kg on the 12th of August 2013 at 8:35am. We named her, Ayra Zahra Azim. Some photos of her just a few minutes old:

Meet our baby girl everyone! Please pray for her and for us, may Allah protect her and may she be means for us to enter Jannah, Inshallah. :)

p/s: In my discharge report, my total observed labour was 3 hours 47 minutes! It felt like 30 hours though.  -_-  Alhamdulillah.

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