Thursday, June 14, 2012

Seratus Hari. Panik.


Yesterday I looked at the countdown and I panicked. 100 days. Seratus hari. One hundred days until I become someone's wife and hold all the responsibilities that come along with it. 100 days until I move in with a family so different from mine, leaving behind my parents who I have been living with all my life and my 4 brothers and sisters I grew up with

Suddenly it's not just fun and games anymore, suddenly it's the real deal.

I felt insecure, ugly, stupid. What have I done in my life to deserve to be some other man's responsibility? What have I to show for? I'm not model material (unless you count plus size model), I can't cook like a chef, or sew like a tailor (I can't sew at all to be honest), or clean like a maid. All this while all I only know how to do things for myself enough to allow me to survive. Why would he even want me? What if I don't make him happy? What if he doesn't make me happy? Mungkin semua gangguan syaitan semata-mata.

Don't let me get started on preparations pun. I haven't done anything! I have said it before, I am the worst bride to be. I haven't finalized my invitation cards, I haven't properly listed down my guests, my reception dress hasn't been sent for tailoring, I haven't found the right shoes, I don't have a videographer (although I'm thinking I might not want one now), my door gifts are still a question mark, my hantarans are somewhere up in the clouds, and every single day I worry about the expenses. Oh God oh God oh God I really am panicking the heck out.

I just want to show up on that day, be married and live happily ever after... is that too much to ask? Apparently it is. The thought of being unhappy really, really scares me.

Help me ya Allah.

13 comments:

  1. kite SERUPA! jgn risau, Allah ada.

    ReplyDelete
  2. rasa memang betul lah, mungkin ini semua gangguan syaitan semata-mata. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thx for the moral support qiela.. semakin dekat tarikh semakin bnyk dugaan.

      Delete
    2. biase la, qiela ade lgi masa 2 bulan, hhuhuhu! still cm xdek progress ape.

      Delete
    3. sukaaaa baca entri ni!!!!! LIKE!

      Delete
  3. wahh tinggal lagi 100 hari je? bestnya nak kawin. insya Allah, Allah akan membantu kita. lagi2 kita nak bina masjid ni. sabar la cik mawar!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks sheila.. Inshallah, I mmg percaya Allah akan tolong. tp nak menghadapi dugaan tu yg sakit tu!

      Delete
  4. awak. dun worry. huda yang tinggal 86 hari ni pun tak buat ape lagi. banyak tak setel lagi. 100 hari tu sempat buat macam2.

    hadapi dugaan dengan tabah!

    insyaAllah akan dipermudahkan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you for the support Huda! wahhh i rasa kalau i dah sampai 86 hari mesti dah menggigil. hahaha.. good luck to the both of us Inshallah. ameen!

      Delete
  5. i buat semua tu dalam masa sebulan. nak cari doorgift,cari photographer,mak andam and katering. u know, my husband sgt suka buat kerja last minute. i terjangkit tapi alhamdullilah, majlis berjalan lancar akhirnya. syukur. u will be fine soon mawar :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. wahh..xlame je lagi..insyaAllah semuanya akan berjalan dengan lancar..esok hanya tinggal lagi 2 angka..eheh
    gud luck awk! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. terima kasih myrah! i suka sgt tgk gambar tunang u, ur make up lawa gila!

      Delete
  7. Baca blog u ni buatkan I rasa..........Ooooo, ade rupanya orang macam aku..hahaha..dah 100 days baru panik, and dalam masa yg sama, Cik Whatever pun datang..Nak sedapkan hati, I selalu cakap kat diri "Its okay, semuanya akan berjalan lancar"

    ReplyDelete

If you don't have something nice to say, please don't say anything at all. Positive vibes only, people! :)

Link Within

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...