Saturday, March 10, 2012

How To Be a Successful Muslim Wife

Some tips I compiled from various sources, I thought I'd share this with all you wives/wives-to-be out there.


  1. Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful.
    All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah ta’ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah ta’ala - into Jannah. Always ask Allah for forgiveness and blessings on your marriage.

  2. Listen and obey, he is your key to Jannah.
    Obeying your husband is Fardhu Ain! Your husband is the Ameer (commander, ruler) of the household. Give him that right and respect. Be the best wife you can be. Being a good Muslim wife is in many ways similar to being a good wife in other religions. Sure it has its own special features and requirements, just like any other religion. However, there are common basic methods and guidelines for being a good wife in general. Follow them. Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah.

  3. An argument is a fire in the house.
    Extinguish it with a simple ‘I’m sorry’ even if it is not your fault. When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, “Look, I’m sorry. Let’s get back to being best friends.” Pick your battles. Nagging and nitpicking can destroy a relationship. As long as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for instance, don't nag about how to load the dishwasher "the right way". Let him do things his own way. Don't sweat the small stuff. Focus on what is important.

  4. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does.
    Then thank him again. This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.

  5. Joke and play games with your husband.
    A mans secret: they seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humor. As Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.

  6. Be confident about yourself!
    Be secure in yourself. Putting yourself down in front of him is another way of insulting his taste in women. If he is with you, it's because he wants to be. He will find you sexy even if you don't feel like it, if you act the part. Remember that attitude and willingness are large parts of being sexy. Poor self-esteem and a "void" in your life is terrible for marriage. Make sure you still have a fun and interesting life. If your husband left tomorrow, would you still have girlfriends you see at least once a month, hobby clubs you go to, sports you play? If not, your husband will always be working to fill a void he can't, and will feel inadequate and unhappy.

  7. Understand and respect your husband's rights.
    Study authentic hadith and make sure that you understand your obligations as a wife as well as understand your rights. In Islam, a good wife is expected to be honest, sincere and congnizant of her husband's needs. At the same time her husband must respect her, fulfill her needs and even help her in household chores. 

  8. When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting.
    Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom - what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.

  9. Use your ‘beauty’ to win the heart of your husband.
    All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah - Azza wa Jal - has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband.

  10. Express, don't accuse.
    Except in the rare event that your husband happens to be psychic, don't expect mind-reading powers. If you want something, ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop hints or figure he'll "come around". Communicate calmly, clearly and directly. Relationships work best when each partner calmly express their current emotion without harping on what he has done. Frequently, a "I feel attacked" or "I feel sad" is all it takes for him to step back and ask, "Why?" Then simply say, "When you slammed the door, I felt ignored." Let "I feel" be your guide.

  11. Don't expect the moon.
    He needs to keep trying, you need to keep trying, but neither of you is perfect. Unmet expectations tend to frustrate everyone. However, if you both keep working on your marriage, you will always be covered, even when one of you comes up a little short. If your expectations are truly too high or unrealistic, then set standards that are obtainable. For example, it is unfair to expect to be lavished with possessions and have the love of your life home for every meal. Should you want more together time, be prepared to have that desire fulfilled at some expense. Accept him. Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself. He is a growing individual, just like you are. Help him grow in the direction that he chooses, and give him the chance to help you.

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